I have come to realize that so much of my own emotional muck stems from not having a mother figure in my life. I remember all the way back to grade school where I would not use the rest room at school cause of germs. So I would hold it all day, till I got off the bus, walked all the way down my street which took about five minutes. Then I would either pee right when I got to my front door, or right when i got inside the bathroom. This went on for a long time. Always kept this a secret growing up i never told anyone till I got older. If I had a MOTHER, I would of known that I could hover, so i would not get germs on me.
Even though I did not have a mom in my life i did not feel uncomfortable about telling my father when i had my period. I was always able to be honest with my father. That is why I had no curfew growing up. At 14 years old I would come home at 7am. Some of you out there may think Whoa, put the brakes on that is bad parenting. I see it way different my Father raised us children with a lot of freedom to explore the world on our own. Yes i did drink alcohol a couple times and smoked weed at 14. But i have never been drunk or ever want to. I started drugs and alcohol at age 14 and also quit the same year. You have to let people(everyone learn there own lesson , if they never fail -How are they ever going to learn?
Keeping a tidy environment is something I have struggled with ever since I have lived on my own. I have finally figured out why i get overwhelmed when I start cleaning and my back clenches up. Growin up was a drill Sargent about cleaning. We were not allowed to leave the house until our room was spic and span not even one thing on the floor, not even sock. We were constantly called pigs. My dad would call me at a friend's house and tell me to come home to clean my room because it was a pig sty. When I would come home there would be one sock on the floor can we say ANAL! So this week I have worked a lot on decluttering and cleaning my living space. I'm ready to clean out my closet physically and emotionally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is in your closet that you are hiding under??????????/